To Be Thankful 2011

Over the years, I have done year-ender blog entries like photo summaries of the year that was or an entry pointing the highlights of what has been. But hours before the change of 2011 to 2012, it dawned me – I have never published a year-end entry of thanks, an entry of being grateful and of recognizing the blessings I have received.

Looking back 2011, I’ve realized that the year that was were full of blessings and this is my way of recognizing them. I know it’s already January 2nd (HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ARMI!) but it’s better to be two days late than never!

So here are the 10 things (not in order) I am most grateful about 2011.

1. Finishing college not with flying colors but with personal honors. I did not graduate Cum Laude (my original plan when I entered San Beda) but I survived and conquered my four years in college. If you are a college friend, you probably know that I juggled three organizations during my college years. All of those three organizations, I held leadership posts for four consecutive years. It was all a juggle, a pain in the ass, but I was able to do my extra-curricular activities in perfect stride while being a good student. (I received awards and was a Dean’s Lister for two sems, YAY!) And most importantly, I graduated on time.

2. Being able to juggle several skills. If there’s one thing you should know, I’m the best slasher in town. “Hi, I’m Mayee! I’m a writer/photographer/video editor/Lomographer/frustrated illustrator/singer/bass player/event organizer/line producer/production designer/cinematographer/gig-goer/blogger/best friend/sister/daughter…” and the slashes go on and on and on! Yes, I do a lot and 2011 was one heck of a year to accomplish tons! All listed (or slashed) above were achieved and I am truly grateful for being able to do so.

3. Mount Analogue. My band. Being able to perform and share your music to a larger audience is undeniably something to be grateful about. And these guys, my bandmates, are truly the best bandmates around. We haven’t been friends for the longest time but we quarrel and we hug as if we’ve known each other for years. These boys are awesome and I’m really excited to share more years of music and friendship with them.

Special mention to our brother band, The Strangeness. Gigs won’t be twice as fun without them. I love you my bb’s!

4. Being able to do what you want and love to do. My family never stopped me in doing what I want. It doesn’t really mean that they let me do whatever I want without limits but they let me discover new things in life and let me pursue certain goals I have. That’s the best kind of freedom one could have in life. I am also grateful for being able to discover hell lots of amazing books, movies, art, and music in 2011! More to come, please!

5. The blessing of work. Finding a job is the toughest stress one can experience after graduation. I was penniless for a couple of weeks after receiving my diploma but work, freelance and eventually regular, came. And I’m just thankful for the opportunities. If you should know, I did freelance work for six months after March. Name it, I think I did every freelance job a Mass Communication graduate could do: wrote articles for small publications, video editing, music video shoots, photo shoots, event organizing (debuts and events for Sonic Boom and Terno Recordings).

Freelance work is fun but it only serves for one self so I had to pursue a regular one. Luckily, I did find one under Lomography and I am thankful for the job I currently have with this company. The perks and my officemates are just awesome, I could not ask for more!

6. The happiness friendship could bring: I have thousands of moments I have made with my friends in 2011. I have several groups of friends in my current life and I couldn’t be more thankful for them.

My grade school and high school barkada (King, Janlor, Karen, Diana, Sean, Jake, Miguel, Alvin, Diane, Kara etc. because you guys know who you are!), my college friends (Crystal, Von, Lorenz, Tey, Butch, Tim, Vance, Pao, RJ and all my orgmates), my Dumet Skate crew (Labayen Kids, Corpuz Brothers, Vince, Ica, Jade, Beth, Teehay, Alexa, Monique, Ayis, Jon-Jon), my Lomography officemates (Shine, Erin, Bijan, Joy, Jean, Jason, Minde, Chamie, Kat, Ella, Geli, Yani, Mich, Tara and Pauee), my Sonic Boom family (Bochang, Monica, Afianne, Julo, Greg, Chino, Hannah, Mon, Jep, Bock, Angela, Jewel, Kaloy, Alex, Lalay, and Koi), my friends I’ve met through Mount Analogue, The Strangeness and Number Line Records (You are too plenty but you know who you are!), my Terno Recordings family (ALL THE BANDS oh gosh I’m friends with you ALL! Hahaha! Plus Aie, Cha, Chigo, Bel, Ed, Kris, Red, Jon, Jason. Special mention though to the brewing crazy friendship I have with Japo of Not Another Boy Band and Jiggers, Brian and JB of The Charmes! And of course, my first love Up Dharma Down.)

Thank you for the crazy 2011 I had with you guys!

7. Keeping your friends and forgetting your enemies. I remember a college friend calling me once “popular.” It’s hilarious because I can never call myself “popular”. Yeah, I have thousand of friends on Facebook, hundreds of followers on Twitter, and I know people wherever I go but that doesn’t make me popular. I’d rather call it keeping friendship and building them through time. It’s simple, you make friends and you respect them. You put limits to your friendship only to make it stronger and you make time for these people no matter how busy you are. I think these are the best ways to keep friendship alive. I’ve been best friends for the same guy for 11 years and I have friends whom I met online for six years already. I have friends I’ve met in 2011 and I’m planning to keep them as long as I can. As for your enemies, you don’t let them bring you down. Instead, you burn them in the hole of never remember.

8. Putting love at pace. I’ve been single for a couple of years now but that doesn’t mean I’m unhappy. My heart has been hurt in 2011 but it was healed. And I’m thankful for that because it helped me grow and it made me learn the bigger lessons in life. I am not asking for a partner this 2012, but it’s something to look forward to and I’m keeping that pace. Who doesn’t want love and happiness, right?

9. Family. I do not have the perfect Father, Mother and Brothers, I can assure you that. My Mom and I always argue about the littlest things, my Kuyas just irritate me at some random times but I’m grateful about it because I’m just happy of having them in my life. Our love is not visible through actions and words but it’s love – you can’t see it nor express it the best way you could but you know it’s there. I’m thankful for 2011, simply because of them.

10. The chance to do more. I have been thinking about 2012 and I’m starting to thank the above for the things to come. They have not happened yet but I know that this year will be something worth remembering. There’s this chance to travel abroad (Hello Singapore in February!), the chance to do better at work, the chance to improve my talents (I’ve heard we’re doing more music videos this year and a possible demo for Mount Analogue!) and the chance to learn through time. It’s being thankful in advance.

So this is my list and I think I’ve written enough! How about you? Hey, it’s time to be grateful about life not only after every year but every time you experience happiness and love. With that, I wish you all a great 2012! Cheers to more years!

You’re In My Blood Like Holy Wine

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Of course I had to start this post with a James Blake music video I’ve been watching every day for the past week. Beautiful, yes, add the title which was a reference to the song. Thank you, Joni Mitchell and James Blake, you made my holidays lovelier than ever.

So it was Christmas and it was an awesome one! Fortunately, I was able to spend the Christmas weekend with my workmates, my high school friends, and my wonderful family, of course!

Spent the 23rd of December with my Lomography Manila family through a small (yet fun!) party along with Lomography’s BIG BOSS, Wolfgang Stranzinger, who tagged his family along. Wolfgang’s wife, Otchie, is a Filipina which made Wolfgang’s heart closer to us Filipinos. Such a nice guy you would not think he’s the owner of Lomography. A gentleman, too! He kept telling his two boys (shown in the photos below courtesy of Shine and Minde) that they should be kind to us girls.

Lomography MNL with Wolfgang and son Yohan Stranzinger in the middle.

With the most adorable baby in town, Liam Stranzinger! <3

Some lovely Lomo girls! From L-R: Jean, Joy, Shine, Chamie and I

The party was real cozy but we analogue people definitely knew how to make it fun! It was one of the best nights I’ve ever had with my workmates. And oh, we also made some LomoKino movies! Can’t wait for them to be processed!

The 24th was expected to be a busy one. As usual, when parties are held in our house, I turn into a cook who considers our tiny kitchen her abode. That happened and man, was it tiring! But no regrets here because cooking for one’s family and seeing their reactions upon tasting your labor of love just makes it all worth it. I wasn’t able to take photos of our Noche Buena but the menu consisted of pasta, ham, potato salad, caldereta, chicken wings and tons of pastry we almost died of diabetes. KIDDING.

Though here are some photos my brother, PeeWee, took after hearing mass and before celebrating Noche Buena and my Tita Susie’s birthday. Yep, her birthday was on the 25th that’s why she was named Jesusa, akin to Jesus.

*I got it from my Momma*

Happy birthday, Tita Susie! So cute!

Our relatives from Nueva Ecija didn’t make it in Manila this year but my Mom’s brother, Tito Lito and his two children, celebrated with us. It was fun nonetheless! Celebrations here at home ended quite early (around 2am) so I still had time to drop by my bestfriend King’s place after. Some of our high school friends were there too so it was  a nice way to end the evening’s festivities.

But then not all good things come to a happy end. I woke up on the afternoon of the 25th feeling all sickly – I had a fever and my flu was worst. I felt so bad I decided to stay in bed the whole day…. until Monday. Come Tuesday around 1am, I just couldn’t bear the heavy sick feeling I was having that Mom and Kuya Pao decided to bring me to Las Pinas Medical Center for a check-up. I was hesitant at first but I was also afraid that it was dengue (my fever skyrocketed to 39 then played at 37.7) so I agreed.

Emergency entrance

After a blood test (which brought me to tears when the med tech took my blood. SUCH A COWARD, YES) thank God, it wasn’t dengue. Turns out I have this viral infection caused by dust and pollution which also explains the painful lump I have in my neck. It’s like hay fever but worst. But all is well now and I just have to religiously drink my strong-ass medicine.

I’m really better now that I was even able to attend post-Christmas dinner with my Dumet Skate Crew last night. I did not consume alcohol though because that will fight off my antibiotics. I was soooo tempted to but I’m proud to say that all I had were Sprite and Doritos. Ha ha! Kudos for self-discipline. Also, I was able to work at home today (I filed a sick leave for Monday and Tuesday) and will be able to go to the office tomorrow. I’m really happy about it because my life is running on a normal path again.

Tons of happenings in a couple of days, eh? Crazy but that’s reality! Anyway, I’ve got to get some rest now! Enjoy the rest of the holidays, fellas! Take care of yourselves.

Pops

Since my Dad passed away three years ago, he has never failed to visit me in my sleep days before his birthday. Those dreams I had with him were elusive, as if it was all a blur, like losing my 20/20 vision once again. But upon waking up from that certain slumber, I just knew he was there – right smack in my memory, telling me he’s just around the corner.

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But this year there was no visit. No dreams, no random memories, no symbols or objects clearly reminding me of the man who once walked the earth.

And I guess  I took that for granted. I guess I was so used to having him as a yearly reminder of his special day that it almost slipped off my mind.

I’m sorry Pops. I’m sorry for almost missing your birthday. How stupid of me to remember it an hour before it ends? I wasn’t even able to celebrate in my own little way. I was too caught up with work and all the stress I dwell myself into. But honestly, if I remembered the first minute your day arrived, all would have been a feast.

I guess I should stop expecting Dad in my dreams. I know I should have let him go months or even years ago… But I didn’t, I was vulnerable and weak. Thankfully, Dad was strong, he still is actually. And I thank him for being that character and for helping me forget the emptiness I’ve felt.

It’s still the 11th in America, Pops. Happy happy birthday! I miss you more than you know.

Therapy

The past few weeks were tough for me. I went through a lot of issues – in family, love and career. I thought I would not make it alive. I just wanted to runaway and leave everything behind. I wanted to disappear, I wanted to explode my feelings and hurt people with my words. It was selfish, I know, but maybe what I really wanted was to feel love from the people I expected it most. Only to find out that I actually have what I was longing for, I was just too blind and dense to realize it.

I cried, obviously, and thought about my life. My life is very blessed if you ask me. I am blessed with a loving family, tons of friends, happy band mates and my abilities, my talents, that people appreciate. Definitely thankful for all that I have and along with these, I should accept the truth that not everything in life flows the way you want it to.

And therapy, I just had to have some. A time for myself, a time to think, to reflect, and a time to have fun.

I approached God like I’ve never did before. I talked to friends and shared them my feelings. I bonded with my brothers and close family friends who for a while, I took for granted. I made up with my Mom and I’m now happier with our relationship. All is good. Living is good.

At this moment, I can say that I’m a happy camper. Life is never perfect, and if it is, what else is to live for?

I am your local girl skater

Hey Dad

I’ve always wished you were here – every minute of every day – no doubt about it. I miss you.

Happy Father’s Day!